Aligning Your Lifestyle with Your Core Values
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Why does knowing your values matter?
When we prioritize our values and make decisions based on them, we eliminate self-doubt and the need for validation from others. Our focus becomes intrinsic.
Instead of seeking confirmation from the outside world and worrying about being liked, disliked, right, or wrong, we begin to evaluate the values of those around us and consider whether we want to let them into our lives.
When you prioritize your values and make decisions based on them, the ball is in your court, not the other way around.
This shift in perspective can be liberating. When living true to our values, we become whole and comfortable in our own skin. We may no longer feel the need to conform to external pressures. We can learn to embrace solitude and the freedom that comes with it, knowing that we are living a life that is true to ourselves.
So, how do we find out what our values are?
Our values represent what is most important to us in the present moment. They are the personal, sacred rules for living the life we desire, regardless of who we meet. However, values are not set in stone and can change as we age, acquire wisdom, and enter different phases of life. Significant life changes, such as having a child, changing careers, getting older, or experiencing a traumatic event, can alter our values. This is normal.
Having said that, it becomes important to examine the decisions we make on a daily basis and ask ourselves if we are actually walking our talk. One common struggle is when people hold a value in high regard but unconsciously fail to uphold it in their daily lives. For instance, someone may value their health and fitness but never make time to hit the gym or go for a walk. Someone else may value compassion but find themselves becoming judgmental when they witness a coworker struggling to understand their tasks at work. When becoming conscious of our values, we can make better decisions toward living a more authentic life, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships with our loved ones and, most importantly, with ourselves.
Becoming mindful of your values can positively impact various areas of your life:
- Personal relationships: Your values play a significant role in how you form and maintain relationships with others, including romantic partners, family, friends, and colleagues. For instance, if you value honesty, trust, and communication, you may prioritize these qualities in your personal relationships and seek out people who share these values.
- Career: Your values can also guide you in choosing a career path that aligns with your passions and beliefs. For example, if you value helping others, you may be drawn to careers in social work, teaching, or healthcare.
- Health and wellness: Your values can inform your choices related to your physical and mental health, such as the foods you eat, the exercise you do, and the self-care practices you engage in. For instance, if you value self-care and stress reduction, you may prioritize activities like meditation, yoga, or spending time in nature.
- Financial decisions: Your values can influence how you spend, save, and invest your money. For example, if you value sustainability, you may choose to invest in companies that prioritize environmentally friendly practices.
Questions to Help Identify Your Core Values
To begin living in alignment with our values, we must first identify what those values are. We may already have a sense of our core values, but it can be helpful to take some time to reflect on them and write them down. Once we have a clear sense of our values, we can begin to make decisions that align with them, even in the face of challenging situations or difficult choices.
It’s important to remember that living in alignment with our values is not always easy. There may be times when we feel pressured to compromise our values in order to fit in or achieve a certain outcome. However, by staying true to ourselves, we can build a sense of inner strength and resilience that can sustain us through difficult times. Take a look at the values listed and choose the top ten that resonate with you the most.
- What are the things that bring me the most joy and fulfillment in my life?
- What am I the most proud of?
- What are the things that I am willing to stand up for, even if it means facing opposition or criticism from others?
- What are the principles that guide my decisions and actions?
- What are the qualities that I admire most in others, and strive to embody in myself?
- What are the causes or issues that I am most passionate about, and feel compelled to support or advocate for?
- What are the things that I am willing to make sacrifices for, because they are so important to me?
- What are the things that I am not willing to compromise on, even if it means missing out on other opportunities?
- What are the things that I am most proud of in my life, and why are they important to me?
- What are the things that I would like to be remembered for, and what does that say about my core values?
- What are the things that I fear the most losing, and why are they so valuable to me?
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THE CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE NOT MEANT TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP AND COUNSELING. THE READERS ARE DISCOURAGED FROM USING IT FOR DIAGNOSTIC OR THERAPEUTIC ENDS. THE DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER CAN ONLY BE DONE BY PROFESSIONALS SPECIFICALLY TRAINED AND QUALIFIED TO DO SO. THE AUTHOR IS NOT A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.