The Experience Of The Family Scapegoat

Do You Feel

• Consistently unseen, unheard, with your traumatic experiences being dismissed, trivialised or treated as insignificant in the "bigger picture" by the rest of the family.
• Being told you "don't love or care" for your family when setting healthy boundaries or healthily asserting your individuality.
• Facing constant pressure from the family to "change who you are" in order to appease a family member who persistently targets and antagonises you.
• Having family members label your reactions to dysfunction or abuse as indicative of a flawed personality or “bad character.”
• Feeling confused as "good moments" are used to leverage, justify or normalise ongoing dysfunction and abuse in the family.
• Being shamed or discouraged from talking about your experiences or voicing your trauma. “What happens at home stays at home”.
• Having family members betray you when your abuser is in the room.
• Having to constantly defend or argue the validity of your trauma against accusations, falsified stories, and exaggerated claims made by your abuser.
• Feeling isolated, alone, and misunderstood within your family dynamics.
• Being blamed and punished for conflicts you did not initiate or when defending yourself against unjust accusations.
• Being smeared by your abuser, leading to collective bullying and exclusion by family and friends.
• Having your achievements belittled or dismissed, and being labelled as unintelligent, unstable, or overly emotional.
• Feeling pressured to conform to unrealistic family expectations, sacrificing your emotional well-being and safety to maintain your status as a "family member."
• Experiencing unequal treatment compared to other family members, such as siblings.
• Feeling obligated from childhood to cater to an adult's emotional needs and being shamed or punished for your inability to do so.
• Being silenced, ignored, or shut down when attempting to address family issues or express your feelings.
• Experiencing bullying behaviors, including various forms of abuse, which are enabled, reinforced or ignored by the family.
• Having your reactions to trauma met with dismissiveness, such as eye-rolling or treating your emotions as mere “tantrums for attention”.
• Experiencing profound sadness, grief, and persistent self-doubt about your worth and reality.