Creating your sacred space after the trauma of a narcissistic family system

Published on: March 28, 2022

by Art Florentyna

Personal Development Coach

Your Sacred Space

A sacred space is a place or state where one can feel safe, free to exist within one’s authenticity, and liberated from criticism and external pressures. It serves as an environment for self-discovery, self-care, and self-expression. Such spaces can be found in physical locations that feel safe to you, in your mind and spirit, which are yours and yours alone, and in your physical body, which is the temple that carries your spirit.

The power of honoring your sacred spaces is immense, as it serves as a cocoon that envelops you, keeps you safe, repels negative energy, and guides you along your journey.

Your sacred space is your spiritual sanctuary, where you are valuable, important, and deserving of love and care. It’s a place where you prioritize yourself, and where your feelings, thoughts, and preferences take precedence. This is the space that you hold within yourself to experience your emotions, to contemplate your thoughts, and to fully express yourself without fear of judgment or criticism, celebrating your uniqueness and authenticity.

Honoring your sacred space is an act of self-love and self-respect, reflecting your personality, values, connections, safety, and self-honoring. It serves as a tangible reminder that your life is your own. It’s where you can connect with yourself on a deeper level, find peace and comfort amidst the chaos of the world, and cultivate inner tranquility.

Your Environmental Sacred Space

Your environmental sacred space is a unique area in your surroundings that you designate as sacred and conducive to your well-being. It could be a physical location in nature, such as a quiet forest grove, your favorite waterside spot, or a secluded field where you can retreat and be alone. It can be the space you inhabit daily, whether it’s a specific room in your home, a cozy nook where you can wrap yourself in a blanket, or a place designated for your creative endeavors, like the kitchen or garage.

This space is defined by its ability to facilitate personal growth, creativity, learning, goal-setting, and self-expression. It’s a place where you can be yourself, embrace your uniqueness, and cultivate feelings of peace, tranquility, and connection with your inner self. Depending on your spiritual inclinations, you may choose to adorn it with elements like plants, crystals, candles, or meaningful artwork. Alternatively, if you require this space to be a place for grounding yourself, you might surround yourself with inspiring quotes, figures that you admire, and items that reflect your passions and aspirations.

Ultimately, your environmental sacred space serves as a refuge from the demands of everyday life, providing you with a sanctuary to recharge, reflect, and reconnect with your inner essence. Creating and maintaining this space requires intentionality and mindfulness, as you must dedicate time and energy to cultivate an environment that nurtures your spiritual and emotional well-being. By honoring and tending to your environmental sacred space, you can foster a deeper sense of harmony, balance, and connection with yourself.

Setting an Intention

Creating a sacred space isn’t just about designing a physical area; it’s also about setting an intention and cultivating a mindset of self-care and respect. Before entering your sacred space, take off your shoes, keep it clean and tidy, and give it the respect that it deserves. After all, this is the place that embodies safety and will provide solace after a long day. Whatever your intention may be, take a moment to appreciate this sacred space, take a deep breath, and set the tone for your experience.

A personal space designated for self-care, peace, and safety is essential for your mental and emotional well-being. It’s not simply a space where you journal about gratitude, although this is a great practice to uphold, but also about prioritizing your needs and giving yourself the attention you deserve. Taking the time to listen to your body, relax, and enjoy the present moment can make a significant difference in your overall quality of life.

To ensure that your sacred space is a safe and secure place, it’s important to establish boundaries and rules. These rules can vary depending on your individual needs, but some examples include only allowing emotionally safe people to enter, avoiding any toxic gifts or letters that may have been sent your way, and keeping any objects that remind you of negative experiences or people out of the area. This rule is very important, and you may even want to avoid looking at potentially triggering emails or scrolling through potentially triggering social media in the area if you can help it.

Taking the time to reflect on what makes you feel safe and secure and incorporating those elements into your sacred space will help you on those days when you may feel overwhelmed by emotions or may have been triggered by something or someone. If you consistently utilize your sacred space as intended, it will offer relief and a feeling of safety when you enter it. It will serve as a space that empowers you to make good decisions, a place where you can rest, and a place where you can prioritize your needs above anyone else’s.

Nature’s Sacredness

Exposure to nature offers a multitude of benefits. Sunlight warms our skin, fresh air supports immune system function and overall health, and the calming presence of plants reduces stress and boosts mood.

Inviting nature in, and making it a part of our healing journey isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s a portal to a deeper sense of well-being. Studies show that simply looking at natural scenery lowers blood pressure and reduces anxiety. Houseplants not only purify the air but also offer a sense of companionship and a reminder of the vibrant life force that surrounds us.

Weaving nature into your sacred space can take many forms. Perhaps it’s a meditation corner adorned with nature photographs or a cozy reading nook near a window. Maybe it’s a commitment to spending time in nature each day.

Let nature be your guide. Start small with a single plant, open a window to embrace the fresh air, or place a bowl of smooth stones on your altar. Every step you take to connect with the natural world enhances the power and serenity of your sacred space.

The Sanctum Within

Unlike the physical world, constantly evolving, with objects being replaced to make room for new ones, with ever-evolving creations and time making the new become old, and the old dissolving, the inner landscape holds a unique kind of sanctuary – as it is not bound to the erosions of time. This sacred space, untouched by external circumstances, is a wellspring of peace and a refuge from life’s storms. Ancient wisdom traditions across cultures speak of this inner haven, often using metaphors like “the still point within” or “the chamber of the heart.”

Modern science is starting to catch up. Research on mindfulness and meditation reveals the quieting of the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and the activation of the prefrontal cortex (associated with focus and emotional regulation) during these practices. These findings suggest that accessing the sanctum within can have a tangible impact on our well-being.

Unlocking this inner sanctum is always within your power, as you do not need to spend money or rely on any external factor at all. It is all within you. You can bring your focus to your breath, feeling the rise and fall of your chest or abdomen. As thoughts arise, acknowledge them gently and return your focus to your breath. With practice, this anchors you in the present moment and creates a space for inner peace.

And as you do this, you can let your imagination guide you to find your sacred sanctum. Is it a sun-drenched beach, a quiet forest clearing, or a majestic mountain peak? Engage all your senses. Imagine the warmth of the sun on your skin, the smell the fresh air as you listen to the sound of waves or birdsong. The more vivid the visualization, the easier it becomes to access this inner space.

Even a few minutes of daily meditation, allowing yourself to escape into your mind’s peaceful and safe space, can strengthen your ability to access this inner haven, fostering resilience and calm amidst life’s challenges.

Facing the Guardian at the Gate

The journey inward isn’t always smooth sailing. Sometimes, as you approach the threshold of your sanctum, you might encounter a formidable obstacle – inner resistance. This resistance can manifest in various ways.

You might feel a sudden urge to fidget, check your phone, or clean the house – anything to avoid the stillness of meditation. Long-suppressed emotions might bubble to the surface, making you want to retreat from the introspection. A critical inner voice might tell you you’re “bad at meditating” or that “nothing will come of this.” This negativity can discourage you from continuing.These are all normal experiences. The key is to approach them with compassion and awareness.

During this process, it is important to acknowledge your Feelings. Instead of pushing away your resistance, acknowledge its presence. Simply notice the restlessness, the emotions, or the self-doubt without judgment. Label them as “restlessness” or “critical thoughts” and observe them with detachment. Remember, it takes courage to explore your inner world. If your mind wanders, gently guide your attention back to your chosen technique, like focusing on your breath or a mantra.

Think of your inner resistance as a guardian at the gate of your sanctum. This guardian might seem intimidating at first, but by acknowledging its presence and approaching it with gentleness, you can navigate your way past.

With consistent practice and a compassionate approach, you can overcome these initial hurdles and unlock the peace and serenity that awaits you within your sanctum.

Published on: March 28, 2022

by Art Florentyna

Personal Development Coach