Safe VS Unsafe people
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Safe vs Unsafe People
When one evaluates the safety of a relationship, it is important to remember that everyone messes up sometimes. Occasionally messing up doesn’t necessarily make a person unsafe. Paying attention to a person’s recurring patterns will help you make the distinction between making an honest mistake, and being unsafe.
Safe people are individuals who are trustworthy, supportive, and understanding. They are people with whom you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and who can be relied on to be non-judgmental, empathetic, and respectful. They are people who respect your boundaries, and do not take advantage of your vulnerabilities. They encourage you to grow and be the best version of yourself. They are individuals who are safe to be around emotionally, physically and spiritually.
On the other hand, unsafe people are individuals who are not trustworthy, supportive, or understanding. They may be critical, judgmental, or dismissive of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. They may take advantage of your vulnerabilities and fail to respect your boundaries. They may be emotionally, physically or spiritually abusive. They discourage you from growing and being the best version of yourself, and you may find yourself feeling anxious, guilty, or ashamed when you are around them.
Because people don’t often show their true colors right away, a person who once felt safe, may become unsafe after some time. Also, be aware that a person who is safe for you, may not necessarily be safe for someone else, and a person who is safe for someone else, may not necessarily be safe for you.
This is why you should rely on your feelings, your senses, and your wisdom when making such a decision.
Unsafe Person Signs
- Prioritizes rules, laws, religion, and perfectionism over your needs and feelings.
- Believes they are always right and above reproach.
- Uses toxic positivity as a way to dismiss or minimize your valid concerns or negative emotions.
- Engages in excessive flattery to manipulate and win your favor. Guilt-trips you.
- Creates confusion by sending mixed signals or contradicting themselves.
- Believes they always know more than you, regardless of the subject matter.
- Pressures you into having or maintaining unhealthy relationships with people they choose.
- Demands trust without earning it or being trustworthy themselves.
- Interrogates, reacts, attacks based on assumptions rather than asking for clarification or seeking understanding.
- Uses inappropriate humor, mocks, belittles, or makes hurtful comments.
- Maintains a negative mindset and discourages.
- Engages in gossip or badmouths others, often without cause.
- Insists on having their way.
- Blames others for their mistakes or problems, never taking responsibility themselves.
- Is inconsistent; their treatment of you will depend on their mood or on their “thought of the day”.
- Engages in self-destructive behaviors.
- Makes inappropriate, passive-aggressive, or hurtful comments that undermine your self-esteem or well-being.
- Places themselves and others on a superior/inferior scale, making unfair comparisons or judgments.
- Holds others responsible for their own insecurities or emotional sensitivities.
- Betrays confidences and shares secrets that were meant to be kept private.
- Uses money or gifts to buy or manipulate love and affection.
Safe Person Signs
- Prioritizes your wellness above rigid rules, laws, religion, or perfectionism.
- Demonstrates humility.
- Respectful towards you and others.
- Consistently treats you with kindness and consideration.
- Respects your boundaries.
- Encourages you to spend time with loved ones and respects your social connections.
- Lifts you up.
- Is genuinely happy for you and others when good things happen.
- Is reliable and keeps their promises. You feel confident that you can depend on them.
- Is honest and transparent with you, even when it’s hard.
- Maintains consistent behavior regardless of the presence of others.
- Practices self-care, takes responsibility for their own well-being.
- Is self-aware.
- Makes effort to manage difficult emotions, and is mindful of how they affect others.
- Recognizes when they are wrong and apologizes when appropriate.
- Asks for clarification or input when needed.
- Reaches out to you, just because they genuinely care.
- Values equality and shows it in their actions and behavior.
- Accepts you as you are.
- Is open to feedback and works towards personal growth and improvement.
- Speaks positively of the people close to them and avoids gossip.
- Demonstrates patience and understanding, even in difficult situations.
- Keeps your confidences and doesn’t betray your trust.
- Shows love through thoughtful actions and gestures.
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THE CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE NOT MEANT TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP AND COUNSELING. THE READERS ARE DISCOURAGED FROM USING IT FOR DIAGNOSTIC OR THERAPEUTIC ENDS. THE DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER CAN ONLY BE DONE BY PROFESSIONALS SPECIFICALLY TRAINED AND QUALIFIED TO DO SO. THE AUTHOR IS NOT A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.