Tips to help you stop ruminating
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Rumination
Catching Yourself in a Loop of Repetitive Negative and Anxiety-Causing Thoughts
Rumination is the repetitive and persistent dwelling on past events, emotions, or experiences. It can manifest as the replaying of past situations or imagining scenarios in your mind, over and over again. It’s important to become aware of rumination when it occurs as it can prevent you from dealing with your emotions directly and can be detrimental to your mental health and well-being.
When we ruminate, we tend to focus on the events that have caused us negative emotions such as anxiety, sadness, anger, and guilt. We may believe that by ruminating, we are somehow solving a problem or gaining control over a difficult situation, but in reality, rumination only keeps these emotions alive, making it harder to process and resolve them.
Additionally, rumination can prevent us from fully living in the present and immersing ourselves in the joyful moments of our daily lives. It may cause us to miss out on important experiences that hold greater value than dwelling on past toxic interactions with the narcissist and their enablers. Furthermore, it can negatively affect our relationships and hinder our ability to achieve success in our daily endeavors.
It’s essential to develop the habit of catching yourself and recognizing when you are ruminating so that you can actively work towards redirecting your thoughts to healthier ways of coping.
Keep in mind that rumination is not reality and only serves to keep your mind trapped in the cycles of your past. Rumination only leads to suffering. It is like a trap with no way out.
Sometimes there really is no solution, and we must let things happen as they will. As soon as you become aware that you are ruminating, stop the process.
You always have the power to control the direction of your focus.
Tips to Stop Ruminating
Imagine a Place That You Know
Switch your focus to a familiar place that you know well. For example, imagine the grocery store. Think of your usual parking spot, the doors that swing open as you walk in, and the location of your usual items. Imagine yourself walking through the store as you would in real life. Walk yourself through the store from beginning to end.
Practice Mindfulness With Your Surroundings
Look around and describe everything that you see in detail, out loud or quietly in your mind. Notice the colors and textures of your surroundings. Talk to someone and listen to what they are saying - be present with where you are. The idea is to snap your brain back into the present moment and become mindful of where you are and what you are doing, instead of staying stuck in your head.
Focus on Your breathing
You may close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs with air. Hold the breath for a few seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth.
Focus on your breath and the sensation of the air moving in and out of your body.
When your mind starts to wander and you find yourself ruminating, gently bring your attention back to your breath.
Schedule Your Worrying Times
Balance your time between focusing on the contents of your mind and interacting with the world. Schedule a time to worry and a time to focus on living your life. For example, you may give yourself an hour in the morning to meditate on your worries.
Journal Prompts
- Write a letter to your ruminating thoughts, expressing your feelings towards them and your intentions to let them go.
- Create a mind map of the different thoughts and emotions that are associated with your rumination. How are they interconnected and what patterns do you notice?
- Draw or paint a picture that represents your rumination and the emotions it brings up for you.
Remember
Break the cycle of rumination as soon as you become aware of it. Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts and emotions for extended periods of time. Keep in mind that while it is important to take the time to process our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, it is also important to recognize that such thoughts can spiral out of control. The mind will go as deeply as you direct it to, even if it is at your own detriment. Instead, strive for balance between thinking and doing. Schedule a time for processing, and live your life the rest of the time. Remember that we can remember the past and imagine the future, but we can only truly live in the present. A balance between your inner-world and your outer-world will help your mind stay healthy.
Learning self-control by understanding the difference between feelings and emotions.
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THE CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE NOT MEANT TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP AND COUNSELING. THE READERS ARE DISCOURAGED FROM USING IT FOR DIAGNOSTIC OR THERAPEUTIC ENDS. THE DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT OF NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER CAN ONLY BE DONE BY PROFESSIONALS SPECIFICALLY TRAINED AND QUALIFIED TO DO SO. THE AUTHOR IS NOT A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.