Understanding and Managing the Scapegoat's Overactive Fight-or-Flight Response

Published on: December 12, 2023

The “fight-or-flight” response is a natural and instinctive physiological reaction that activates through the sympathetic nervous system when facing a perceived threat or danger, preparing the body to either confront the threat (fight) or make a quick escape (flight).

However, these very instincts responsible for our survival can also be the mechanisms that sabotage our lives, affecting work, relationships, and our overall quality of life. While our survival instincts are essential for keeping us safe, they become problematic when persistently activated in non-life-threatening situations by triggers.

Learn more about triggers here

Signs of the fight-or-flight response include:

Increased Heart Rate: The heart beats faster to pump more blood to the muscles and vital organs.
Rapid Breathing: Breathing quickens to increase oxygen intake and fuel the body.
Dilated Pupils: The eyes dilate to improve vision and focus on potential threats.
Tense Muscles: Muscle tension increases to prepare for action.
Sweating: Sweating helps cool the body during physical exertion.
Heightened Alertness: The senses become sharper as the body becomes more vigilant.
Dry Mouth: Saliva production decreases as digestion is temporarily halted.
Butterflies in the Stomach: Nausea or a fluttering feeling in the stomach may occur due to changes in blood flow.
Pale or Flushed Skin: Blood flow can affect skin color, leading to paleness or flushing.
Increased Blood Pressure: Blood pressure rises to support the increased demand for oxygen and nutrients.

These responses are adaptive in facing immediate threats, but persistent activation in non-life-threatening situations can contribute to chronic stress and health issues. Recognizing these signs can be a first step in managing and regulating the fight-or-flight response.

Scapegoating and an Overactive Fight-or-Flight Response

The experience of scapegoating within a narcissistic family system can be closely tied to the development of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) and the activation of an overactive fight-or-flight response.

Learn more about narcissistic family systems here

Because the trauma from being scapegoated by a narcissistic parent isn’t a singular occurrence but rather repeats during formative years, and because the abuse they endure is frequently normalized within dysfunctional families without any acknowledgment or closure, this state of heightened reactivity may persist throughout their upbringing, well into adulthood.

Our nervous system may remain stuck, continually grappling with the shadows of our past, even as we age and create distance from the dysfunctional narcissistic family system. When triggered in adulthood, we find ourselves reliving those moments, reacting to the present world in ways echoing our responses to dysfunction in the past.

Furthermore, in response to the trauma of scapegoating, one may adopt maladaptive coping mechanisms, potentially leading to unhealthy lifestyle choices that may further contribute to chronic stress and high reactivity.

About the Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve is like a communication highway in our body, connecting our brain to vital organs such as the gut, heart, and lungs. It’s crucial for the “rest and digest” system, which plays a role in breathing, digestion, and heart rate—essential components of our mental well-being.

Now, vagal tone is like the activity level of this communication highway. When we have a higher vagal tone, it activates a system that helps us relax.

For someone with an overactive nervous system, understanding and improving vagal tone can be a game-changer. By doing activities that stimulate the vagus nerve, you can essentially turn down the volume on an overactive nervous system. It’s like giving your body a switch to ease out of that constant high-alert mode.

Calming down the nervous system

Body Awareness

Focus on the physical sensations in your body. Take notice of any tension, tightness, or discomfort. Instead of harboring negativity towards any part of yourself, recognize that these sensations represent how your body has been protecting you and adapting to survive your childhood. While this instinct has served its purpose, acknowledging its presence and allowing yourself the space to safely feel these sensations is a way to communicate with your body. By doing so, you signal that you’ve received the message, and this process can help the feelings subside, gradually losing their power over you. Follow the natural ebb and flow of bodily sensations. Identify areas of tension and observe any changes that occur.

Grounding Techniques

Feet on the Ground:

Direct your attention to the sensations in your feet, whether on the ground or in contact with a surface. Notice pressure, warmth, or texture, grounding you in the present moment.
Find a Safe Space in Your Body:

Explore neutral areas, like cheeks or hands, unaffected by stress. Concentrate on these parts to shift attention from distressing thoughts, providing a moment of respite.
Mindful Walking:

Take a stroll, paying attention to each step. Feel the connection between your feet and the ground, engaging your senses in the present moment.
Nature Connection:

Spend time in nature—walk in a park or sit by a tree. Feel the earth beneath you, fostering a sense of grounding.
Focused Touch:

Hold an object with different textures. Pay attention to the sensation, promoting sensory awareness.

Cold Exposure

Cold exposure can wake up your body’s vagus nerve, sort of like hitting a refresh button. It gets your cholinergic neurons talking through vagus nerve pathways, giving a gentle nudge to your parasympathetic nervous system.

Here are some simple ways to incorporate cold exposure into your routine:

Hold an ice cube in your hand for a short time.
Step outside and take a few breaths of fresh, cool air.
Splash your face with cold water.
Try a brief cold shower.
Apply a cold pack to your face or forehead.
Sip on a cold beverage or hold an ice chip in your mouth.

Heat Exposure

Heat exposure can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and potentially easing muscle tension.

A warm bath or applying a heating pad can ease muscle tension associated with the fight-or-flight response.
Heat can be simply comforting and promote feelings of relaxation.

Breathing Techniques

Equal Breathing: Inhale slowly for a count of four. Exhale for the same count of four. Maintain this equal rhythm, focusing on the steady flow of your breath.
4-7-8 Technique: Inhale quietly through your nose for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven. Exhale completely through your mouth for a count of eight. Repeat this cycle for several breaths, maintaining a relaxed pace.
Belly Breathing: Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your diaphragm to expand. Feel your abdomen rise. Exhale slowly through your mouth, feeling your abdomen fall. Focus on the natural rise and fall of your belly as you breathe.

Long-term Care

It’s essential not just to manage immediate triggers, but also to consider long-term practices that contribute to a healthier and more balanced state.

Living with a heightened nervous system requires ongoing care and attention to promote overall well-being.

Regular Exercise

Engaging in regular exercise is a cornerstone of long-term care for a heightened nervous system. Physical activity has been shown to reduce stress hormones, promote the release of endorphins, and contribute to overall mental well-being. Incorporating activities such as walking, jogging, yoga, or any form of exercise you enjoy can have a positive impact on your nervous system over time.

Doctor Check-Ups

Regular check-ups with a healthcare professional are essential to ensure there are no underlying medical conditions contributing to heightened nervous system responses. Keeping open communication with your doctor allows for early detection and management of any health issues, providing a holistic approach to your well-being.

Nutrition and Mindful Eating

Choosing a balanced and nutritious diet plays a crucial role in long-term care. Certain foods can impact anxiety levels, and practicing mindful eating involves being aware of what you consume and how it affects your body. Incorporating foods rich in nutrients, such as omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants, while minimizing the intake of stimulants like caffeine and refined sugars, can contribute to a more stable nervous system.

Hydration

Staying well-hydrated is often overlooked but is integral to maintaining overall health, including the health of the nervous system. Dehydration can exacerbate feelings of stress and anxiety, so ensuring an adequate intake of water throughout the day is a simple yet effective long-term practice.

Quality Sleep

Establishing healthy sleep habits is fundamental for long-term well-being. Prioritize consistent sleep patterns, create a relaxing bedtime routine, and ensure your sleep environment is conducive to rest. Quality sleep is crucial for the regulation of the nervous system and emotional resilience.

Lifestyle Adjustment

Explore adjustments in your lifestyle that foster balance and well-being. This could involve setting realistic expectations, defining boundaries, and cultivating a supportive environment that nurtures your mental and emotional health. Recognize that safeguarding your well-being entails making intentional choices, including refraining from allowing toxic individuals into your life, irrespective of past ties or any mentions of favors or gifts. Prioritize self-care and preservation, understanding that no amount of another person’s “selective generosity” or “selective empathy” can outweigh the negative impact of verbal or physical abuse.

Learn more about boundaries here

Learn more about recognizing your needs here

Seek Professional Support

If possible, seek support from a mental health professional for ongoing guidance. Therapists, counselors, or coaches can provide tailored strategies and coping mechanisms to address specific challenges associated with a heightened nervous system. Support groups are also valuable for connecting with others who share similar experiences.

By incorporating these long-term care practices into your life, you can work towards creating a foundation for sustained emotional resilience and a healthier nervous system.

References:

Corrigan, F. M., Fisher, J. J., & Nutt, D. J. (2011). Autonomic dysregulation and the Window of Tolerance model of the effects of complex emotional trauma. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 25(1), 17-25. https://doi.org/10.1177/0269881109354930

Jabeen, F., Gerritsen, C., & Treur, J. (2021). Healing the next generation: An adaptive agent model for the effects of parental narcissism. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 50(2), 367-379. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7925789/

The Polyvagal Theory: New Insights into Adaptive Reactions of the Autonomic Nervous System (2009) by Stephen W. Porges: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9131189/